Imma Be What I Set Out To Be
Quoting Eminem in the title of a 21st-century blog post about student government, being an RA, and working at Admissions is without a doubt, undoubtedly, the worst thing anyone has ever done. Quoting Eminem again, in the first line of that same blog post, while apologizing for the first reference, is clearly a close second. Reader, I have not been good to you. I have, however, set you up for a smooth transition into the second paragraph of this post, which is about being good at things.
When I got to Clark, I didn’t know how to work, and I didn’t know how to be involved. I was an extrovert, I loved people, and I had big ambitions, but I had no idea how to connect those ambitions to my reality. I’ve written before about the winding threads in our lives; that applies here as well. I didn’t know, then, how to connect the trailing threads of my dreams to the leading threads of my day-to-day existence.
But I made the leap. I ran a bus to DC. I got hired as a Diarist, and then at Scarlet Key. I got hired as an RA. I ran for Student Council. Heck, I literally jumped out of a plane. And as I’ve grown into all these roles over the last three years (with the exception of the plane thing, which was over in two minutes), I’ve found myself becoming better and better at every single one of them. Growing up, as it turns out, is a very satisfying thing.
This year, my overriding feeling has been one of blessedness. I am so lucky to be working in leadership positions in things I have become really very good at doing. I’m not there yet, of course. If this year turns out to be the crowning achievement of my life, that would be a pretty disappointing life. I’m only twenty-one years old, and there’s so much I still want to learn and do. I want to work, I want to go to grad school, I want to travel, I want to live a life that is out of the ordinary. And I know that at this moment, to quote from the immortal Nick Miller of New Girl:
But I am doing things that I love, and I’m starting to understand why I love them. So what this year has been is a chance for me to delineate more clearly who I am as a person, what I’m good at, and what I want to do with the rest of my life. That’s not something I thought a college education was all about when I started it, but it may turn out to be the best thing I get out of my four years at Clark.