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May 6, 2013

Sentiments on Going Home

59230_10151426700983292_612632662_n 560051_10151411349233292_1590650183_nAt the beginning of the year, I heard time and time again that Clark was nothing like real life. I repeatedly heard that no one ever wants to go home, and that Clark was basically a magical mystery land of whimsy and academia. Every time I heard something like this, I thought, no, no no no, that’s absolutely ridiculous, there’s no¬†way that people would think that, because Clark is real life and there’s no way that people would want to stay at school forever and ever. Clark isn’t some sort of alternate reality; I get up every morning and I take a shower and I eat and go to class and do all the other collegiate things that other college students do.

But the longer I’ve stayed here, I’ve realized that there’s something truly beautiful about this school that makes it so hard to leave: the people here are absolutely magnificent. I mean that in the most immediate sense, where they’re fun people and great to be around, but it really goes beyond that. The student body of Clark is beautiful because everyone is passionate about something. I have yet to meet a single student on this campus who is ambivalent towards the world, or who has nothing to say, or who doesn’t care about anything. There is so much drive and passion in this student body that I frankly never would have expected from a group of college students.

I’m also constantly in awe of the student body here because everyone has a story to tell. Everyone carries pain and vulnerability, and everyone seems to be stronger from it. No one is defeated. It took me a long, long time to figure that out. I often thought that the rest of the students on this campus, save a few, were emotionally ambivalent, and that they knew little of struggle, motivation, or hard work. Admitting that to all of you is incredibly embarrassing. That entire thought process is a huge disservice to the students here, because each and every person here, without a doubt, is fantastic, but each in their own distinct way. I know it sounds cliche, but if you truly think it sounds cliche, then you’ve obviously never been in a community filled with such hardworking, experienced, strong people.

I think that’s why I’ve been packing my bags with such heavy boots on. I’m excited about going home to my wonderful family, and my dog, and the mountains, and my favorite drive-through coffee shops, but I feel like I’m doing it at the expense of leaving behind a supportive and loving community. I’m not really feeling too terrible about leaving behind Worcester (although it’s a lot better than people give it credit for – it’s a truly delightful city), or Bullock Hall, or the Clark campus, because none of those things will ever be as important to me as the people who attend this university. I’m leaving this university with a heavy heart and a hope for the future. I feel a little bit like Harry Potter, dreading the end of the year because it means he has to return to Number Four, Privet Drive. But I can say with confidence that although I’m sad to leave, I’m excited to return home, because I know that Clark will be waiting for me in August with open arms.

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