A Declaration of Selfishness
My mother always told me that I should never, ever get pregnant or married in high school, and preferably not in college either. This sounds like typical mom advice (and hey, it kind of is), but my trip home during winter break made me finally appreciate this advice. Don’t worry, I’m not pregnant. My mom always urged me not to have a kid in high school because that immediately takes away the only opportunity in your entire life that you have to be completely independent. Your late teenage years and early twenties are really the only time in your life that the only person you have to worry about is yourself. You don’t have to worry about taking care of someone else or doing something for the benefit of others unless you really want to. It’s your one opportunity to take care of yourself.
Upon coming back home, I realized that I was doing this all wrong. I finally realized that I was doing things for the sake of other people, and that I was allowing people and their behaviors to determine what I did and how I felt about things. I don’t know about you, but to me, this seems like a completely backwards way to go about things, especially now at this point in my life. Recently, I’ve my life has experienced some changes, some I’ve made and some have been forced upon me, but I’m flowing with these changes and using them to my advantage to build a lifestyle that allows me to focus more on myself.
I don’t want to sound like a teeny-bopper fashion magazine here, but I’m declaring 2013 as my Selfish Year. Not in a negative, “I’m not sharing my toys with you” kind of way, though. Selfish as in I will be focusing on myself, rather than others. A positive selfishness, if you will. A selfishness that allows me to stop placing my happiness at the mercy of others and that gives me the chance to pursue things that I enjoy purely because it’s what I want to do. I’m going to revel in my independence, pay attention to my needs, and possibly invest in a pair of Steve Madden smoking flats simply because they’re super cute and because I can. I’ve started a new chapter of my life and I want to face it head-on (apply directly to the forehead) and make the most of it.
This is the first time in much, much too long that I haven’t felt that I’m relying on another person, whether it be friends, family, teachers, whoever. It’s sad and it’s scary, but it’s true. However, I’m looking forward to it immensely. Eventually, I’m going to have to take care of other people, like a family or something (actually, 13 cats is probably more accurate), and I’m going to enjoy it, but also appreciate all the time that I was able to dedicate to raw, unadulterated selfishness.
I’m throwing myself into 2013 as a whirling dervish of selfish adventure. Are you?